I can feel noodle strands ascending my esophagus. I think I am going to have a sore throat from all the yells I had before dinner. I didn't had shower tonight and I couldn't even lift a finger..or maybe. I feel insanely weird. I can smell spam and eggs in this ungodly hour of the day (why?). My lips are dry and I am having a hint that I am lacking water in my system. I suddenly don't feel that I am not the funny person I used to be. I think I will never ever laugh again.. Never. As you can see in my previous post I have said that I want to fall into pieces. Righ now I want to curl into a ball and then the grounds will break and swallow me after. My existence will be obselete. I will be forgotten, as if I never walked into earth. Arrrgghh... I do not want to be a manic depressive. I do not (yet) want to lose my sanity. I don not want to be in a mental rehab center. I do not want you to use this as a proof that I once possess signs and symptoms of a will-be-insane-person.
I hate drama in my life. I hate the bitternes of my life. I hate it's cruelty that I wan to get even. Right now I have a throbbing headache. I can't sleep (as always). I think I already had fall into pieces that now it's time to pick up this pieces that of me..
1. My Mind-- it's still ok, I guess
2. My heart-- severely damaged... I need a cardiologist
3. My spine-- OMG, I can still feel.. i still can!
4. My feet-- I can't walk a mile longer knowing at th end of the road it is still me
5. My hands-- What use can they give me now? But hey,they are still mine
6. ... I don't know, I lost a lot of of pieces of me... Help me search for them. THANK YOU.
*I still have this throbbing headache, my contact lens are all dried up.. I have no choice but to sleep or to sleep. *
Well, nyt nyt...sleep tyt...
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